Thank you very much. Enough said.

When was the last time I talk to you because I want to? When was the last time I feel excited to meet you? When was the last time I feel so afraid of loosing you? I can't remember the exact day.

I once cried when I met you. I felt so horrible and powerless and was so afraid of making you upset. I zillion times promised you to love you more if you give me this and that. And you gave me things that are even much better than what I could ask. But the blitz blinded me. I forgot the promises. I could only ask more and more. Even I blamed you for the things I couldn't get and thought as if you were being unfair to me. I didn't see the other things you gave and it needed months to make me realise. I am now feeling so guilty.

I'm not sure how long it will take me to understand everything you give, I don't know how long it will take me to let go of everything I want but I can't own. And I absolutely have no idea when I will meet you in person. But I wish, I have enough time to rebuild everything again.

I am not trading gold in my hands with silver that I still have to search for.

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