I forgot to thank You for thing that I never realised was a blessing

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm Yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm Yours

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul, You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went weak and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I'm Yours by The Script
P.S: This song for me is about God. And no, I don't sing as the way I pray.

I've been busy complaining and questioning things that I know will still be there even if I didn't do anything wrong. And I've been busy ignoring the real good things that happened to me.

So yesterday I had this beautiful conversation with my friends, about religion. We didn't take it as a serious matter though, like, we talked casually. I was with my muslim, catholic, and christian (not really) friends. Lol we talked about christianity though, and there were some questions that left unanswered.

I was curious. I googled that right after I got home. The answers I found were too... biblical and formal, it's good but they just simply didn't fit my brain capacity lol. So when I went online on facebook (classy I know) and found that my senior at campus was online too, I asked her. It was so random really. I didn't really know her, neither did she I believe. I only knew her as the senior that took a role on freshmen orientation days, the one that got angry all the time lol. And she answered my questions. I didn't realise that we'd been chatting for hours. It was after midnight and she said something like 'gosh, it's midnight and you're talking about something really serious' and I was like 'I know right, this is so random. If you wanna stop just stop, I've just acted like a freak' and she said it was all okay. Lol, I wonder what she would say to me at the time I meet her at campus, or when I passed by her.

Okay it's not about this senior. It's also not about the things I asked. It's about my relationship with the Almighty Creator. For all this time I've been asking about this and that, commenting cynically at some points, being too ignorant and never had enough commitment to my belief. I know I'm not ready to be the totally good muslim woman yet (someday I will, hopefully). Yet, I'm thankful to grown up like this, in this family, in this country. I'm grateful to have wonderful diverse friends, who can broaden my knowledge about the differences He created. Alhamdulillah.

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