13.1.11

Say what you wanna say

Judge me whatever, I've learned from what I've done and I won't give a fuck to whatever you say.

I told Mum and Dad about the deception and as I imagined, they were surprised. Surprised to know that I could be that stupid and to know that I look like nothing had happened. And my sister was like did you feel sad? And I answered "I did, but well what can I do?"

About my feeling, it's not like I don't care. I've been keeping this for myself for a week until finally I decided to tell them. Because anything that makes sense is to let go. Letting the money go. And I dislike it when my brother said something like "Stupid. Economics student is being fooled about money? You're joking mate!". Hate it so much because it's so true.

And hours before I write this down, I felt so good. I mean, I don't know, spending the day with friends instead of sitting in front of tv and laptop doing nothing was enough to create a jolly mood. Even shitty talks weren't strong enough to bring my mood down. Yet, second before I sleep, I remember my stupidity and the reactions of my family. I wish I could say this face-to-face instead of coming here making a useless confession that won't bring any change in any way, but it's not like I don't care, really! I'm now thinking of getting them back but I just haven't found how yet. Please understand that I know this is stupid, but I never wanted this to happen either. Let me make mistakes and learn from them and trust me I'll always try not to do that again ever. Ever.

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