Life's a Joke

I don't wanna believe this but it seems true that we don't have control over things. Or to be more specific, full control over some things. I'm not talking shit about future or whatever that might be influenced by things we do now because for that I have to say that I too, agree (that we can control/at least have power to decide what we're gonna do tomorrow or the day after). I'm talking about a simpler thing, something we don't really care about because it can happen anytime to anyone, something so natural the existence of which we almost forget.

I've heard somewhere (I think its from The Secret/Paulo Coelho's book) that the whole universe conspire to help us achieve what we want if we keep thinking of it over and over again. Its like we're sending signals that are captured by the universe, and it will work out in a somewhat magical way to help realising those signals to reality. For instance, back in school time my teacher was asking students to answer her question and while I thought she was gonna choose me, she did choose me. Another time while I was really wanting pizza and when I got home I found mum buying pizza. And when I was singing to someone's song all day long and suddenly the radio played that song. That's how it works, magical and surprising, but we don't pay too much attention to it because we think there's nothing so special about it, its just a coincidence.

Assume the theory is correct. The universe helps me achieve what I want if I think of it, that's how the game's supposed to be. But now, I'm in a condition where I'm thinking of something continuously, there are many opportunities to get closer to it, but that something goes to my close people. Its still a coincidence, an unexpected coincidence. Its still surprising, but not in a good way it usually is. Its confusing, and it changes my whole perception of the concept 'universe conspire to help achieving' because I'm sure this particular person I mentioned earlier would never ever think about it like I do. How ironic, it feels like universe is playing a trick on me. Its ridiculous, and if its a joke, if someone or something thinks its a joke, I don't think its funny.

Oh I'm fine anyway, just a little..confused. I thought what I thought was right was really right until I got this twisted version of coincidence.

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