Thanks, I feel like saying it

I remember few years ago, I was looking for a song. I had difficulty downloading the illegal one, and the album was nowhere to be found. I told a friend, and she showed no interest on that.

The next day she sent me songs under some weird names like hahaha.mp3, wakakak.mp3 and stuff. I thanked her, but I wasn't interested because at the time she liked some parody music and she wanted me to listen to them, while most of the time I couldn't find the humour in it. So that's that.

Few days later I decided to listen to it. And I was surprised to know that that was actually the song I was looking for. So I texted her saying how thankful I am. And the next day at school, I thanked her again and I told her I couldn't stop listening to it. She smiled, but I noticed there was something. I pissed her off. I pissed her off, because I didn't 'respect' her. I could just listen to it right away and found out at the very same day that it was the song I was looking for. I pissed her off because I feel like I showed no interests on things she liked. But that moment didn't change anything about our friendship. Only, I knew I've pissed her off.

Today, similar thing happened. A friend sent me something she'd like me to see. When I got it, I just read it quickly and I did some other stuff. Then hours later she asked if I've read it already. And I said I have but only briefly, haven't read the whole thing. And an hour later when I finally read it, I was surprised again because what's in it was what I need the most. Then I texted her saying thanks and how sorry I am not to read it immediately. I was surprised again, for the similar feeling.

And that reminds me of a conversation with a friend last night. I complained about how hard it is for common people here to say thanks. I said its either they're too ignorant to know that saying thanks is needed for the sake of being polite or they're too dumb to know that saying thanks isn't hard at all. And she went on like 'its not about being polite. I say thanks because I feel thankful'. And I said maybe that's that, maybe people aren't thankful enough.

What strikes me was, I said thanks for being polite. And she said its not about it, thanks represents feeling. And I've come to the conclusion that I pissed my friends off because even if I said thanks, I didn't say it gratefully and that, somehow, isn't much different with not saying thanks at all.

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