Stubbornness

"There's no use to find a key, if you don't have the heart to go"

If when my mum told me to do A I did B instead, what makes you think I'd do what you told me to?

As stubborn as I could be, other than from my boss, or parents, or someone who really has the capacity to tell me to do something and as long as I don't have other options I can make on my own, I rarely take an order. I'd always think that I can find the answers of all of my questions, and I like the process of finding them. It's like having to collect the pieces of puzzle from what people I talk to say, and from those pieces I can find my own definition of something and that's pretty much how it works when I decided to talk to people about what's happening to me, which is not that often. But don't get me wrong, I listen to people a lot and I learn a lot from hearing them, which isn't a common thing to do I suppose, for everyone wants to speak up.

But now every time I think I'm stubborn, I think again and remember that at least some particular person I know is way more stubborn. And knowing how annoying that could be, I stop being stubborn for a while and think that maybe that's the reason for me to ever met and knew this person.

And fuck, why is it this person again?

But anyway, the words I quoted and italicised above are parts of the lyrics of my friend's song that I wrote (I think it rhymes better in Indonesian). I made that for a reason too, and funny how things change. I listened to it again today and I almost laughed knowing how emotional I was when I made that, and now with a better perspective I see the same thing differently. I don't regret having experienced that though. It enriches me. Experience enriches people.

With that being said, the reason why I tend to procrastinate things become clearer as well. I do most of my things last minute, because tomorrow I'll have more experience than today. Wink.