junk !

another night has gone. i actually dont know what to say, but, um i just think i need to post something.

okay, tomorrow will be the first day of school, again, and i really am not ready for that! ill have 2 exams and to be honest, i havent studied anything! not even touched the books (i dont even have one of it)!! okay god, i think ill be a very religious one tomorrow, just let everything happens in the name of you :smile:



and..... everyone seems in love right now. yasmin, olga, kaitlyn, even gita, yea everyone. im happy for them of course, haha what else can i say? umm, maybe im just missing my times. i mean, the times i felt the same way, like years ago, i love the moment. well it wasnt a happy ending actually, but yea, it just gave me a lesson. well i obviously dont like to recall, but okay ill try. for you, someone out there, if you happen to read this, that was just the way i expressed what i feel :)

year 9, junior high, i met a guy, he was my friend ines' classmate. and i didnt know him. he also didnt know me at all, and i just heard everything about him from ines. and idfk whats happening, seems like i had a crush on him! on him, a guy i dont know. i was trying to find a way to know him, and wanted to let him know me, and tada!!! here i am. 2 years after. still not knowing him. he has his own world which i really have no idea about, and i also have mine,. i met him couple times after wed been separated to different school, and thanks god- i feel nothin. well actually it needed a long time to forget him, buuuuut, im glad to forget him, as glad as having a chance to feel that way. and after that, a few guys came around to my life, and went after. and here i am, now, dont have any feeling to anybody, and idk. im not happy nor sad about it. its just i dont feel a thing. yep, empty. hahah well idk maybe when the time comes ill feel it again, or, ermmm, not again but feel something 'new' that i havent felt before. i dont know and i shouldnt give a shit anyways. so yea, here i am. :|




andddd, its 11.20 pm rite now, im supposed to sleep now. but idk why i cant! oh well i should try. so, i think im going now. well sorry for a short junk posting like this, lol i told you i dontknow what to say. well, chatchu later! C: