It seems like a way out, but I'm still traumatic in thinking positively. I just try with no expectations. There is a hope, a small one, but when I think about it I don't think it will work. God, I don't know what you want but please, please, I'm begging, please make it easy for me. Even if it's not the one I've always wanted, please make it easier for me to accept. One of the reasons I stopped being an atheist (lol it was a pathetic day seriously. thank god I can laugh at it now), is because I still have a faith and I just can't stop believing you. I wish I don't make another mistake now. (WOW what am I doing? forcing God?)
Ah, sorry, I just need a great day, a great news, and great people to talk to.