Fragile. This is probably the most suitable word for my condition now. I hate this body. I hate this soul. I dislike all the things I own. Call me emo. Call me exaggerated. Call me overreacted. I am trying to live with that. What is happening? I don't wanna dream. I don't wanna hope. I quit. I stop making plans. I will just take anything like a robot. Anything, because no one cares how beautiful the plans I made. It will end up like this.
I feel so high I look so low. I felt so excited I look pathetic. I stopped believing but I'm scared of being lost, as if I'm not now. At least I will never be worse, I could never sink deeper. I don't imagine. I stop wondering. I just live life like it wants me (or HE wants me). When I say: 'friends tell the sweetest things', its true. But poor me I can't find the way. Its dark over here, everything seems have no colour.
Slap me in the face, shoot me in my heart. It's sad but true, (my) life is already over. There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say. Pick me up, put me on a higher place. My mind is gone, right away with the dreams. I just hate everything related to it. I even hate my name and the name of this blog. I say I don't dream, I mean it.
The title of this post shows another part of me. Don't you think I am the stone hearted woman. Don't you ever think I always am happy and fooling around. I need a break, thanks everyone I really appreciate what you have done. I just, this may sound weird but, I quite enjoy this feeling. Thanks!
Carpe Diem! (teardrops)