what can't we own?

The watered eyes can't help. I know.

Tell me it's just a part of April Fool's Day jokes. Tell me it's a lie. Tell me anything but the real news. Because you don't know how it feels when you dream of something really bad, like really really bad, but you can't reach it. You have tried so hard and you have given your best effort, but unfortunately you can't have it. You can't have what you want. Whatever you do are just another failure. Nothing can change it. Your friends tell the sweetest things, still they can't dry your eyes. You calm yourself down, you listen to good songs, you fail. You think of any other things, think of places you can go, the waterfall won't slow down. You start to think that you are a piece of unwanted things. You wish for lucks, they don't come. You think of happiness, you get more sadness. You think of anything you've said, you wish they'd never been spoken. You see your future in another way. You have to change the way you're thinking. It's just not easy, my friends.

High expectations bring you to the lowest ground. You wish you were someone else. You blame things you shouldn't. You want to scream but you can't. You try to forget but you can't. You try to go for others, you know you don't want to. You're in a difficult situation and everything you do is always wrong. Your heart is broken, your dreams are blown away, your times are wasted. All you have to do is to face it.


I know that with every difficulty, there is relief. Something I can't have means it's not the best for me. There's something else waiting for me, something better for sure. Gosh why is it damn hard??!