tell me what's happening

What currently on my mind is one word.... jealousy. Right, I'm jealous of those who don't have to choose. I'm jealous of those who can go to the place I want. I'm jealous of those who have great times of vacation now. The list keeps going till it comes to the last, I'm jealous of seeing those who are in love. So what's wrong with me now?

I am not knowing what to do next. I see my brother has a (new) girlfriend and I'm like finding a new way to laugh at him. Seriously, I joke around about it. I didn't feel anything when I did it but, today, I went out with my friends. One of them is a new friend I met, a guy. I like him, he's funny and quite good looking [how could I be any more.. frontal?]. I found out that I have met him before when I was like already spending 6 hours with him [yes my memory!], and he said he recognised me since the very beginning. I know it's too early to say I like him, well I really do! I mean if I could know him more I'm pretty sure I would like him so much. But yea, here comes the thing called reality. He got 'something' with my best friend. She was sitting next to me in the car, in the back seat. He was driving and I caught him staring at her through the mirror, for so many times. I tried to think positively, well he needed to look at the mirror. But then, when we were about to go home, everything became clearer. Yep, they are into each other. Congratulation!!!!

Wow what am I saying? I know I will be so embarrassed if they read this, or he reads this. I know I will be so embarrassed if everyone reads this. But guess what? I don't give a shit.

for now......