If I'd die tonight, I'd absolutely go to hell

I'm counting down the days. It's the last day of July, damn. Everything starts tomorrow. I don't wanna sleep because today is all I got. Err, actually that's because I have to be AC-less tonight because Dad is sick and he needs AC to make him able to sleep and my damn house doesn't have enough electricity to feed them ACs on all together and I'm sweating out already. And with this sore throat, how could I go to sleep?

But hey, not all of the upcoming things are bad. Ramadhan the fasting month is on mid August! Well, I know I've been a real bad muslim for ignoring the praying times for oh so many times and doing other bad things (no I don't steal, don't drink, don't have sex, etc etc), but still I can feel the euphoria. Mama kinda forced me to read Koran yesterday and I got so many distraction (damn blackberry messenger). Well, I was afraid that I couldn't read as good as her, which is absolutely true. I was afraid that she would find out that I haven't touched the holy book for a long long time, and it turned out not so bad, a little mistakes here and there but well, not bad for a..... wait I'm not a beginner, I was born as a muslim and I have been a muslim for almost 18 years now and whoaaa, it's that bad people! I am horrible. *people screaming*

Every cloud has a silver lining? Shit, holiday ends soon, which means my early morning praying time is back! I now don't know if I'm happy for it or not.

And about the title, please, I don't wanna die tonight. Amen.