I found my old memo and its funny to re-read what I wrote. I was so young and unstable; year 10. The gate of the changes. Back then I was struggling with my feeling of not wanting to go to the school mum wanted me to go and meeting people with different ways of thinking with me. And it really is funny to read this memo, and I just realised that it's yellow. Ew.

But it's not the point. The shocking one is that more than 50% of the writings were about love. And I still remember the whole thing clearly now, as I liked a boy I never know. A lot. It's funny because literally, I never knew him.

Back in year 9, my best friend who went to different class told me that there was a new kid in her class. And she told me everything about him, and I started to like him (note that I never met him before). Then one day, this sounds super cheesy but true, I was doing something with my friends in front of our class and didn't realise that I bumped into someone. When I looked back, I just knew that it was him, from all the things my friend said. His thick eyebrows. His braces. I liked all the things about him.

That was horrible for teenage me. I liked him so much, but I didn't know him. I didn't know how to get closer to him, I wasn't even 14! I didn't even know why I could like him that much. I mean, he was not that cute. So yes, my senior year in junior high was full of junk like that. And I was so thankful that we went to different schools.

Then, year 10. I didn't know why I met him again, and the feeling came back again. And that time was more painful because I couldn't see him everyday (I used to watch him from distance lol very pathetic). And I don't know, if he showed up again this time, I think I would fall again. Because through all this time, it's not that I want him to want me, I just wanna feed my curiosity of knowing what kind of person he is, and what made me so interested to him. But I don't know where he goes for college, so maybe this is the last time I talk about him.

Oh, one more thing. When I went to Japan, there was a Filipino guy who really looked like him. And he was nice. And the picture above is me with this Filipino guy, I wish I had a picture of me with that mysterious guy. Lol, I sound disgusting.

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