2010 was..

If I could pick the worst year of my 18 years of life, that would be 2010. 2010 was the year when I lost my faith, trust, hopes, and even self confidence. It was that hard for me, because life had never been so hard before. It was that hard, because it seemed like everything had been token away from me, in an uneasy way.

I name it the year of learning. I learned to be maturer. I learned to accept. I learned to let go. I learned to look for the bright sides while everything was dark. I learned to look after myself, because no one else would. I learned to be more independent. I learned to sound more normal. I learned to pretend. I learned to be sincere. I learned about so many things, finding a way to replace the bitterness.

January, I missed my friends like hell that I couldn't miss a day without going online on skype. February I got my acceptance letter that I wish I never received. March I struggled hard to pass the national exams. April I overreacted by thinking that I would go far away soon and I thought I wouldn't pass the UI's entrance test. May I was screwed. June was much worse. July I wanted to kill myself. August I had lost all the hopes, trust, faith, wishes from inside me. September I was shocked of university life. October I turned 18, needed to face the fact that I had to be maturer. November was the time when I thought everything was okay, yet I lost the control. December was when I faced final exams and got the news of exchange cancellation. The driving licence, the car, the new friends, and all the smiles were all good, but never be good enough to cover up my whole screwed year. Call me ungrateful whatsoever, I'm happy enough to be cynical and sceptical.

Today will be the last day of 2010, I was told that I won an iPod (err yes). So goodbye 2010 and all the tears and the pain and sorrow and lies and all your bad influence on me. I'll be stronger than a powered up Pac-Man in 2011.

One last cry

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