Here comes another thought

I'm still wide awake at nearly 5 in the morning right now, on my last day of holiday. It's just a coincidence though, I never want myself to be like this. I don't like the fact that I can hardly sleep at night and always wake up at almost 12 pm. I don't wanna take pills to sleep, I'm not depressed. And I totally notice that this is not the life I'd like to have. I want a more normal one.

Speaking of normal, after got back home from a refreshing journey, I've promised myself to be a better person in doing everything, including in building good relations with people. I can proudly say that I've been in contact with many people lately and not getting so bored to talk about the same thing over and over again. I don't flunk myself to a long, stupid monologue that only me can understand, because I've spent my time with people whose ideas I listen to. I mean, I don't mean to not listen to people's ideas but sometimes, well most of the times, I have good conversations only with those who have something that attracts me. But this time, I've learned enough about people's behaviours. I talk to girls, who happen to always have bad opinions about their friends in their cliques. I talk to guys, who always ask about my available girl friends. I talk to older people, who think that I'm a bit too old for my age. I talk to young adolescents, who can hardly wait for the time they're finally grown ups. I have a better relation with my brother, who surprised me with his young-man-knowledge about adult world. I've learned a lot and it seems to me that somewhere in my brain automatically synchronises these lessons into a self-reflection.

I'm gonna admit that it's true that most of the things I say are about what I dislike from people. I can't apologise enough and I know that but I don't know why it can't stop me from commenting cynically about the things that are not my business. Believe me that it's one of the things about myself that I despise and I wish I could change.