May 6th, 7:35 PM

I currently feel like I'm just one fish in the ocean; once I'm gone, there are still plenty others. I'm not like a mosquito, I can't 'disturb' people in only one bite.

I've made friends with new people. I like them. I just don't know how to treat them. They make me feel like I'm a public good (I'm not sure if I've chosen the right words). I mean, I can't do what I used to do; going everywhere with everyone I want. I can't choose, people don't like to be my choices. Perhaps this is an anticlimax cause I can't find the right words to end this shit.

It's been almost a year. Good things come, bad things come. People have changed, so have I. I've been involved in many activities the some of which I don't like. That makes me a two-faced. At least both of them are pretty. Anyway, I'm not gonna underline the two-faced word, I just wanna make sure that I'm not like what you think I am. I finish what I should finish because it's my responsibility and you better shut your mouth cause you can see they're done. Doesn't matter HOW I feel during the sessions, no one other than me (though I'm not sure I do) cares bout the process right? People need good result and that's exactly what I'm talking about.

It's nearly the end of the second semester. Final exams haven't come but I already know that I won't get good scores on 2 lessons (and more to come, I guess?) because the lecturer and the assistant lecturer told me so. And know what, I don't seem to care that much. It's not that I've been too ignorant that I even ignore my own feeling, it's just, part of my heart says that it's okay for me not to get what I think I can get because I don't think I have to make my mum proud of my scores. Why? Because I'm so mean and stupid. Had I have a revenge, I would kill my own self.

No, I'm not that horrible. I haven't changed that much. I'm still in love with a british-ly speaking guys. I'm not gonna re-read this post. I got a C- for English.

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