She learned

She seemed nice and friendly. Pretty introvert I can say, shown from the way she talks to people. She doesn't seem to have any difficulty in accepting her place, in her own way for sure. Only sometimes she looks a bit more introvert than usual, maybe when she faces hard times or maybe on her periods. Who knows, she never really tells. She also seems to be a well-organised kind of person. I can see that from all her planners and all those neat schedules or plans. She plans! I was a bit surprised at first to know that one can be that sure about her future. I mean, who can predict what's going to happen tomorrow? And she is one of the people with brilliant ideas I've known, though she never likes to admit it.

Those were the only (if I may say) things I know of her, up until she told me what's happening to her. Again she surprised me (and I never like surprises), that what she's been through doesn't seem as light as the way she brings those smiles upon her face. She carries a huge mystery question, a mystery because she said even herself doesn't know the answer or even the reason why she came up with that question. When she told me that, she said that she wasn't looking for an answer or any kind of advice from me, because she knew I'd more likely be confused too. She told me because she said she needed a place to at least make it easier for her to walk out, for one of her complicated thoughts has been shared. And back to that mystery question, I told her that I'm sorry for making it harder for her because I asked more questions about that question, more about the reasons why she could think like that. And at the end of the day, none of the questions were answered and none of us had a clue to do what to do next. So we just sat, sipped our drinks and drown in our own minds. And when she told me that she was sorry because what she told me was only making me confused, I told her that maybe it wasn't her fault at all to have thoughts like that. Maybe sometimes its good to be mean to people if being good to people means she's being mean to herself. Maybe sometimes she also needs to be the person she wants to be and not the person people want her to be. Maybe its good that she's tired, so she can criticise everything she wants though she has no solution either. And feel sorry about that later. With all the maybes I told her not to worry. She seemed pretty much relieved. And to end the deep conversation I sometimes miss because not everyone can be the right person to talk to, she thanked me and said she learned a lot from me. Then she cursed the world, said that that was one of billion things she learned from me, and promised that whenever she feels right to be mean to everything and everyone, she'll sure remember me. She thanked me again after, while wiping few drops of crystal water on the corner of her eyes and I was there sitting and awkwardly asked if she needed a hug. She laughed and said I was too corny, apologised and thanked again.