It has nothing to do with anyone really

It really is crazy, isn't it, how our brains work? 

I just finished exercising my memory, you know, with all your footprints and everything. It certainly brings a little uncomfortable feeling to me. Your face. Our happy faces. In fact, our togetherness; aren't they all history? I know, this is probably more than the hormones, but pardon me for being all pessimistic and skeptical.

I can't see the point. I mean, given the facts that we were spending good times together and letting our worlds bump into each other's and now it's not the same anymore, not because we don't want to but because we're forced to, I don't see any good reason why one of us would still want to try and wish for that to happen again for at least one more time. People change, so do we, and why bother wishing for something that is very unlikely to happen?

I can imagine you'd give me that 'it's not only black or white' crap again. I know, but I'll also let you know that for me, things are falling apart. I've been trying to let the grey thoughts settle, but I failed as always. Maybe you're right, I've changed. I've become someone I never thought I'd be. I've become someone I once was scared of. I've become the person of the opposite of my desire. And behind all reasons why I'm like this, you, or at least my own imagination about your perfection, stand there. 

I was thinking of asking you, that if I were to leave, would it be like what I thought it would be? Would the earth still hold gravity so that others won't fall? Would the birds still sing every morning while the sun greets half of this place? Would the cold go and the snow melt when it's time? I can go on with all the list, but you're impatient. I'd just go straight to my point, if I were to fall, would you catch or would you just watch? 


Joan Russoniello said...

헐 this is depressing but the last paragraph especially is SO lovely!!!!! In a sad way haha

Anyway idk who you wrote this to (or if it's even for any particular person) but we'll still be friends even if we're far away aaaand my reason is because we're both crazy and make each other laugh and when you laugh it relieves stress and the less stressed you are the happier you are and the longer you live SO that's a good enough reason to stay friends right? haha^^

I hope you feel better or even if you don't I hope you at least keep writing cool things hahahaha ♥

Littest Things said...

Hahaha Joan thank you, it's really nice of you and what you say is really comforting <3 *insert flying guy*

no it's not for any particular person, I just had some crazy depressing thought about that after seeing some old pictures of me and people but I'm so glad that before I overthink about it I read your comment hahaha. Thank you so much!!!!!