From the very first time I had the idea of writing these letters, I knew that I'd write for you at least once. That's just how important you are for me. Were, to be exact. I'd love to tell you in details how the whole thing had shaped me who I am now, but you might not have the time for that. Just like the old time, I know. In fact I've grown to know you very well during the time I couldn't seem to. Isn't it what you wanted?
I also know there's no point of me asking the never ending questions I always have, again as you said it. I already have the answers by now, by learning you, observing from afar. That makes me sound creepy. But well if it's not time to ask, it's time to tell you something.
If we were to blame anyone or anything, it wasn't you. It wasn't your fault to do what you did and though your reasons sounded so irrational at that time, if I were you I'd probably do the same thing. I'll just let you know that despite everything I had(ve) that might trick you and other people into thinking that I'm something I'm not, I'm also a human. I make mistakes and sometimes too often I find it hard to let go of my mistakes. But that doesn't mean I didn't learn. Once I was lost in the middle of my thinking process and I stopped and laughed for how stupid I've been all this time. I know now, I'm flawed too, like everyone in this world. And if it's not okay for me to accept that fact, I'll take as much time as I need to learn. Only, I'll always remember losing you were the price I had to pay for that.