is this the way things are supposed to be

the first info is today i (and cina and ayin) went to be the 2nd winner of business competition. yahooo!

and next is, i dont really know whats been happening with my self and my world that i personally dont wanna think about it. but it just comes to my mind. like IS THIS THE WAY THINGS SUPPOSED TO BE? confusing *sigh*, everyone comes and goes around, what i have now is totally different with what i used to have. actually its okay, its really okay, like its just things naturally should be, but i dont want it to happen this fast. i talked to someone i used not to know, and i laughed with em and felt comfort and just okay, im enjoying this. but then i talked to someone i know, laughed, and thats it. nothing more. where is the chemistry thingy? where is the same spirit we have? wouldnt it be same in the next 3 months? whys my world changes this fast? aaaaarrrggghhh b, im supposed to enjoy this. i should. i must.

well okay, move on. this sentences below are just coming to my mind this time. here goes

when i was 5, i had best friend. we played everything together. we went everywhere together. we did everything, together. well i used to think that she was my world. i couldnt go a day without her. i really like her, love her as much as i love my family and my self. then were goin to different elementary school. i was very sad, for only the first week! i found new friends. got new cool uniform as i thought, and new bag new shoes and voila! i could forget her. years passed by and when i met her, it was just like 'hi, how are you?' and thats it. we lost the chemistry. but its allrite, i had friends on my own. but again it happened, we went to different junior high. oh oh guess what happened? got new ones. yep, and even in this moment i started to learn everything. the love story began, the puberty started, and anythings started to change. and when i already fitted with them, we had to go for senior high. and what a good news were all go to the same school!! i thought things would always be the same. but thats totally wrong. same place didnt mean same world. we had been separated by the.. time? yep, time changed us all. but i felt so grateful to get the other ones. i sometimes do think that i would never be alone, i would always have someone on my own. well thats good. but this time, the time has already taken its part, to do its cycle. but its not okay this time, its not. im not ready yet. i miss my past. but i know i just couldnt go back. and i also dont wanna loose my present. but, i want it all. past and present. can i have both? or, do i deserve those ones? am i supposed to feel this way? oh well, heaven knows.

and now, all i have to do is just see the future. i should not care about this shits, i should not give a fuck to this. okay, ill just go bed.

till i gotchu again!

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