21.10.10

The only exception

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my mama swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised, I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But darling you are the only exception. Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk. But you are the only exception. I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream. You are the only exception, and I'm on my way to believing."
The Only Exception by Paramore
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I've heard this song for oh so many times but never really listened to the lyrics, until I was stuck in a rainy day when the traffic was like hell. The radio was on and this song was played, and there was nothing I could do but listen to this song. The rain made it perfect, I didn't really pay attention to the first part of the song though, but this part; 'maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts', really caught me.

Everything never lasts. Forever doesn't exist. This may sound so cynical, whatever you name it, but I don't think loving something or someone so much is good. Well maybe because I haven't met my only exception, but I'm glad that I have not, so I have a reason to rationally (and cynically) give my opinions to those who ask, about what they should do when they are fighting or something bad happens to their relationships.

As for me, relationships never worked. Perhaps I'll never meet the right guy who fits my criteria. Or if the guy does, I get bored easily. And I don't care, I like being single and I'm not mingle, because I know a good-looking stubbly brown-eyed humorous kind-hearted muslim guy isn't easy to find. At least not here. Oh he must speak english with a bit british accent. Now you know my high standard. But behind all that, maybe the problem is on me. I've heard that relationship is not about changing the bad things of the one you love with the things you expect them to have, it's about learning to accept everything that they have. I don't think I can accept everything easily... without putting too much comments or questions on it.

And no, I'm not 'selling' myself here. I'm on my way to believing, that you are my only exception. Only, I haven't found the right 'you'. But I will.

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