I told you I babble a lot

"What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow. So for at least until tomorrow, I'll never fall in love again" -Elvis Costello, I'll never fall in love again

It's absolutely good to have someone to talk to, to go with, to listen to you, to cheer you up, or even just to spend your time with whenever you think you need him. He'll be ready for that and even make himself ready though he really is not. I don't think I say it right but that's all I know about a relationship. Most of my friends have been talking about it lately. Those who already have one are happy to tell that they're loving each other more each day, and it seems to me that those who don't are desperately wanting to have one.

I used to think that there's no point of having a serious relationship for a time like now. I mean, I'm still young, I can make friends with everyone and there's no limit for that. I do like some boys before but I don't think I was looking for this kind of relationship. At first this thought scared me out, what exactly am I looking for? Because I admit that sometimes this relationship thing does come crossing my mind. But again, what am I looking for? A guy to drive/walk me home? Geez I know my house is located somewhere far away from anywhere, I can help myself for that. Someone to help carrying my bags out? I don't think I'm that weak. Wait, do I sound like I don't need anyone now? No! Seriously, no.

This is embarrassing I know, but I'm telling you that since the last time I had this relationship (and unfortunately was the only real relationship with a clear status I've ever had), I've never really wanted to be labelled under that kind of status anymore. I mean, I went out with some guys after but my boredom and my ego kept me away. Perhaps since the day I learned so much about life (because he went back to his ex), the image of a good man to me was getting blur. I've convinced myself ever since that foreigners are better than local men because they know how to treat women well, and that's because I see how most of male friends of mine who happen to be foreigners are treating women gently, even though it was only for applying the 'ladies first' rule or simply to complimenting simple things, not that I want women to be treated differently with men. It's just nice. And along with that, the brown-eyed, tall, stubbly, caucasian guy with a good sense of humour and is walking in the same way with me in the name of God is heaps hard to find. The appearance is still the most important thing a guy should have to get my attention for now, and that's just another effect I believe. I don't wanna be like this and I'm not kidding.

I may look like I can handle my things and I look really like an independent lady who drives her own car and is having almost no problem with that but hey, I also am that lady who gets her period every single month and is liking to waste her money on some cute shoes and dresses. I'm sounding like a woman now and I, for no reason, am glad that I am. Wait, what do I sound like now? I still think that I don't need a serious relationship for now.. but I still am able to change my mind anyway.

P.S: I just watched the Runaways. Kinda late I know but I was surprised to know that Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning sang the songs like for real. Wow.

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