"I need to wake the fuck up.
Go down low once is okay, normally acceptable.
Wait, what's normal and what's acceptable? Blah. But everyday? That's stupid.
Okay what's wrong with being stupid?
A lot of things are.
But why, according to who? According to those who think that pink doesn't suit you? Who think that you can't smoke or drink? Who think that you have to act serious and obey the rules all the times?
Chill, bitch. Don't over dramatize.
Wait, I'm over dramatizing again?
Yes. Now listen, would you? I'm upset.
Oh like you never were.
But I really am. Even little things upset me.
And you said I'm over dramatizing?
Sometimes you are. But I don't understand. Where am I? Why do things seem complicated?
Or maybe its just you?
What does that even mean?
You made it complicated. Maybe it's not that complicated in the beginning.
But it has happened... Now I'm not upset but I'm rather sad.
Yeah that happens sometimes. You're not even sure what you're actually feeling.
So now what?
Why do you think I know?
I don't know. You seem... cool, and know what to do.
I'm not responsible for the impressions you get from seeing me.
But you've told people what to do before.
I never told them what to do! I just listened, and commented sometimes, and they happened to buy what I was saying. And it wasn't even direct messages. Again I'm not responsible for people's interpretations.
Ok then I wanna buy something from you. Say something.
I'm gonna ask you things, would you answer?
Depends on how sensitive the things are.
Can't. Shoot it.
What makes you think it's complicated? Well, first thing first, what's it?
It's everything I have in front of me now. Things are falling apart, or so it seems. I understand if it's because of the things that I did that were wrong. But what I don't get is that sometimes things go bad even when I didn't do anything. Like, it's meant to go bad even without my interference.
Sometimes things are meant to be bad. Some other times they're meant to be good. But the good things make people happy, and what makes people happy never counts, it doesn't affect them badly.
It confuses me more.
Yeah, stupid people are everywhere.
No I mean, well it's true that I'm stupid, judging from things I've done. But again, if stupid people are meant to be happy because they don't understand anything so they can enjoy everything, why does this particular thing make me like I'm nuts for being stupid?
Because you're looking for the meaning. The answer. The next steps. You're impatient. There are times when it's okay to be stupid, for you can learn and from that you'll know what to do. But when you're forcing yourself to know what you don't know yet, that makes you unhappy. Stupid and unhappy, how terrible.
But if I keep on waiting for that time when I finally know the answer, without really doing anything, wouldn't that make me even stupider?
I don't know. Sometimes waiting is enough. You wait for the times to wash away everything. Humans forget, and you can just wait for that.
Waiting is for pussies. I wanna do something.
And it will take longer time to forget. Maybe its not only for you, its for people too. I mean, you can just wait for them to forget. You won't sound that crazy if people forgot what crazy thing you did.
Ok so I should just wait?
It's an option. You decide."