and I tried to let it sink in me
days, weeks, months.
Not worth it, true, what I did.
You're still there, as always.
I've lived with my open wounds,
think I'm getting used to it already.
Until you showed up, again,
did your crazy illusion game again
How can I not be sure that
we are a bad idea,
when all you did is just appeared from out of nowhere,
talked to me as if you wanted me too,
and left again
for the thousandth times?
I can't buy what you offer anymore.
I'm too weak for that now.
And I don't know if you know
that it's not okay messing around with people's head
and feelings, if you believe in that.
I don't know what kind of mental thoughts you've been having lately,
you certainly won't let me know either,
and I don't wanna guess.
I'm done guessing what you want.
I'm done predicting our future,
ad if it'd ever exist.
I know this sounds stupid and selfish and all that,
but I only want one thing from you now.
To be honest I want you to disappear,
but I know that's irrational and not possible.
I just want you
to be okay.
that what keeps you off of me.
I'm only there when you're not okay,
and it sort of hurts me
knowing I can't even help you to feel better.
so I don't have to feel your presence