14.10.13

Perspectives

People have been telling me you're not worth it,
and I tried to let it sink in me 
days, weeks, months.
Not worth it, true, what I did.
You're still there, as always. 
I've lived with my open wounds,
think I'm getting used to it already. 
Until you showed up, again,
did your crazy illusion game again
smoothly, cleverly. 
How can I not be sure that
we are a bad idea,
when all you did is just appeared from out of nowhere,
talked to me as if you wanted me too,
and left again
for the thousandth times?
I can't buy what you offer anymore. 
I'm too weak for that now.
And I don't know if you know
that it's not okay messing around with people's head
and feelings, if you believe in that. 
I don't know what kind of mental thoughts you've been having lately,
you certainly won't let me know either,
and I don't wanna guess. 
I'm done guessing what you want. 
I'm done predicting our future,
ad if it'd ever exist. 
I know this sounds stupid and selfish and all that,
but I only want one thing from you now. 
To be honest I want you to disappear,
but I know that's irrational and not possible. 
I just want you 
to be okay. 
Because clearly,
that what keeps you off of me. 
I'm only there when you're not okay,
and it sort of hurts me
knowing I can't even help you to feel better.
So please,
be okay,
so I don't have to feel your presence
anymore.


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